Low Expectations
by EE's Skysong
Summary: Remy's in love. Rogue's upset. Kitty is neither bold nor brave. Piotr is threatening mass murder. John is a jerk... seemingly. And Wanda is in the middle of it all, mad. 'Merde happens when you're in love.'
1. You Just Don't

Disclaimer: "Help me search to find the words That keep you up at night"

(An: Ok, I'm warning you. This is NOT a happy fic. Lots of angst, lots of swearing, all of that. And John comes off as kind of a jerk in quite a bit of this. This didn't get an angst genre, though, because the Kiotr and Romy is rather insane. This was also partially inspired by the amazing author Ariesque, because of the Remy/Rogue/John triangle. Go read her stuff. We're imagining that A) Wanda got her memory back, B) Remy and Rogue had a relationship, and C) Kitty and Lance aren't together. Changes of POV are marked with the person's name in parentheses, and flashbacks are in italics.)

(Wanda)

Most stories begin at the beginning. Except, I don't really know where the beginning is. Was it with my best friend falling in love? Or with a pact between two other best friends?

All I know is how it started for me- standing on the Acolyte's doorstep in the drizzle, my right hand curled into a fist.

Just as I'd planned, Remy LeBeau answered the door. It took him a moment to recognize me. He squinted. I supposed the black eye he was sporting was impairing his vision. "...Wanda?"

"Who else?" I replied, before punching him squarely in the jaw.

This caught him off guard and he stumbled back a few feet, massaging the offended spot. "Ow... Miss Maximoff, you have one _hell_ of a right hook." He frowned, inspecting me. "This is 'bout Rogue, isn't it?"

"Smart boy."

Remy frowned, and then gestured for me to follow him. A little suspiciously, I followed him into a small, dim room that I assumed was the kitchen. He sat on the counter and gestured for me to do the same on the lone chair. He propped his chin on his fist and inspected me. "Have you ever, Miss Maximoff, have you ever had to choose between your best friend and someone who might be the love of your life?"

I blinked. Then I slowly shook my head, waiting for him to explain this odd question.

"I have," Remy replied.

I frowned. "How so?"

"If I tell you this, will you promise not to make any judgements? On anyone involved?"

Again, this struck me as odd, but I nodded. "All right..."

Remy leaned back, closed his eyes, and started talking.

(Remy)

_You know how I met Rogue. She ran into me at the warehouse on the docks, and I nearly blew her hand off. But I don't think you know how she met John._

_I'm not too sure why Rogue picked our door to come to. I think she was lost. John never told me. But from the minute John set eyes on her, he was done for. _

_Exactly what he did for her that night, I'm not too sure. Again, John never told me. But she went away his friend and my enemy. _

_When he told me about this, we both agreed that that girl was trouble with legs. We were housemates. If we both pursued the same _femme_, there was bound to be trouble._

_So we made a promise. Neither of us would have anything to do with Rogue. Even though it made us both a little more miserable, we agreed. You don't do that in a friendship. You just don't._

(Wanda)

The story, for me, was kind of hard to fathom, but it made sense... except for the reason I was here. "So then how did you end up with Rogue?" I asked.

Remy sighed. "Remember when I said not to judge people? This is where that starts."

(Remy)

_I honestly never intended to end up with Rogue. There were other girls in the world that would probably be less work to end up with, anyway. I kept telling myself this, but her eyes kept haunting my dreams. I liked her a lot, sure, but I'd been friends with John for over a year before I met her, and when you have as few friends as I do, a possible love interest means a lot less than one good person who'll listen when you talk._

_I was already hers when I ran into Rogue, dripping wet, months after I kidnapped her, in the middle of Bayville Park. She'd been crying, and I knew I was doomed if I went anywhere near her. I told myself this, and yet I still walked over to her. So I guess that part was my fault. _

_But I blame her, totally and completely, for what happened after that night. _She _kissed _me_, not the other way around, after all. _

_I guess I must have seemed rather upset by this, because she apologized, claiming depression and confusion for doing that, but I told her not to. I just asked for an explanation of why her kiss didn't result in the same disastrous results as when she'd been possesed by Mesmero._

_She did. And that was that. I was lost. Head over heels for that girl. _

(Wanda)

"Ok," said Wanda. "So. Let me see if I've got this. You claim to be in love with a girl... and then only a week after you start going together, you dump her!"

"That how you see it, Miss Maximoff?" When I nodded, a corner of Remy's mouth went up in a sad smile. "Well, I s'pose that's how it looks. I ain't done yet, though."

(Remy)

_One week._

_One fucking week. _

_That was how long I had. _

_Better than nothing, but far, far less than enough. _

_Then John found out. Maybe if I'd just come clean and told him the story, it would've been all right... but I doubt that. I really do. John is a very... passionate person, and when he thinks he's been wronged, he gets a little crazy. _

_Don't give me that look. I told you not to judge him. John's a good guy. He just has a firm sense of what's right and what's wrong, and expects everyone else to follow the same credo when dealing with him. It's one of the reasons I like him, actually. He never backs down and he never goes back on his word._

_Besides, seeing your best friend kissing someone you're in love with is about the most horrible feeling in the world, I'd think. _

_I'd warned Rogue about the whole thing. She said she didn't care. It was me she was in love with, not John, and he could go fuck himself for all she cared. Good sentiment, but she was missing the point._

_And it wasn't my fault when I answered the door (with John RIGHT BEHIND ME, no less) and she just leaned forward and kissed me._

_But it was enough to upset John, because I wasn't exactly protesting. _

_So that's why I broke it off (reluctantly, I might add) and then slammed the door in Rogue's face. _

_John was willing to let me explain, and he understood. He wasn't too happy about it, but he understood. Still decked me a good one, though. _

_Wishing to avoid a scene, I called Rogue up and asked her not to see me again. I tell myself there are some things you have to give up in friendships and plenty of _merde_ happens when you're in love, but that doesn't make me feel any better._

(Wanda)

"So... what you're saying is it's _John's_ fault that Rogue's currently sobbing her eyes out in her bedroom?"

Remy blinked. "Inadvertently, yes... Please don't do anything stupid, Miss Maximoff. John's really a good guy."

"_Why_ do you keep calling me that?" I demanded.

Remy chuckled. "Because, frankly, I'm afraid you'll punch me again."

I rolled my eyes at him and walked into the hallway that held the Acolyte's rooms. I walked up to each door, listening behind them. Behind two were the sounds of heavy breathing. I assumed that Jason and Victor lived behind them. A third was silent. I figured that was Remy's. From the fourth came soft, sad-sounding classical music. I guessed it was Piotr's. The fifth I knew was my father's study. So I knocked on the sixth door I came to.

As I'd expected, John leaned out of it, his hair tousled and his eyes sleepy. He frowned, squinted, and focused on me. I figured he had a hangover or something. "...The fuck are you doing here?"

"Kiss your mother with that mouth?" I returned, crossing my arms and fixing him with my worst glare.

He returned it, looking equally irascable. "My mum's dead."

"How sad for you, so's mine."

"Do you have a point in being here, or are you just out to annoy me?"

"Actually, I do." And then I punched him. A lot harder than I had Remy. Remy had the bonus of being sort-of my friend. John was, as far as I could tell from the few interactions I'd had with him, a crazy bastard.

He stumbled and almost fell. He caught himself, though, and stared me down. "You talked with Remy, huh."

"As a matter of fact," I replied, crossing my arms again, "I did."

John frowned at me, rubbing the developing bruise on his jaw. "So you've heard his side of it. And let me guess- you think you understand."

I frowned and raised an eyebrow.

John crossed his arms and leaned against the doorpost. "You don't, sheila. You just don't. To me, Remy's just another one in a string of betrayals, let-downs, and people who've given up on me."

I blinked and a little shudder went down my spine as I thought of Pietro and my father. "But... I _do_ understand."

John frowned himself and studied me. "Maybe you do. Still doesn't mean you have the right to deck me."

"It's a free country," I replied.

He shook his head. "Not here, it isn't."

"Why do you work for my father if you're obviously so unhappy with doing so?" I demanded.

"This is one of those things," said John, "that I could tell you. But you wouldn't understand. Not here." He touched his chest. "You wouldn't _know_, not like I do."

"Do you ever say anything that makes sense?"

John's response was a "See what I mean?" shrug.

I propped my hand on my hip, leaning my weight on my left foot. "So you think," I said, "that since you've been through something- whatever it is- that it gives you the right to be a jerk to everyone else?"

"You don't know me," he hissed. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

"So why don't you tell me? I'll probably come to the same conclusion- that you're insane."

"Takes a crazy to know a crazy, gal," he replied. And then he slammed the door in my face, disgusted.

For a minute, I just stood there. Nothing else he could have said would have affected me like that, and I could tell he'd known. "I'm not crazy," I whispered. I sat down, covering my head with my arms and shaking a little. "I'm _not_."

And then I started to cry.

(John)

_Why in hell did I go and say that?_ I thought as soon as I'd closed the door. I'd been a complete bastard to a girl I'd only ran into twice- the daughter of my boss, no less. She hadn't deserved that. She was just trying to do right by her friend.

I pressed my palms against my eyes. Lately, it seemed like I flew off the handle at everyone. I had my reasons- having your best friend go back on his word is a pretty big deal for anyone- but Wanda had had a point. Just because I was upset didn't give me the right to be such a bastard.

Hearing Wanda cry is what tore it. I can't stand it when a girl cries. That's why I let Rogue in that night- she was sobbing.

I sighed, muttered a curse, and stepped out of my room.

(Wanda)

I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts to notice when John sat down beside me, but it's a lot harder to miss someone putting an arm around you. I looked up, startled.

I think that's what doomed me. I found myself looking at him far more intently than I had before. I liked what I saw, far too much. He had blue eyes- more the shade of a summer night than my own icy ones. He had a sweet, somewhat sheepish smile on his face. His hair, I noted as well, wasn't really a bleached red, as I'd thought, but a funny shade of strawberry blond that only looked orange. Altogether, he looked far more like he belonged on the cover of a magazine than sitting in the hallway with me. Although he did have his arm around me, I don't think he noticed that my pulse sped up.

"I'm sorry about what I said," he murmured, his eyes meeting mine.

I wiped at my own eyes angrily, willing to do anything to not have to keep staring into those. I was scared of what I would do if I did. I barely knew him, after all! "You don't say things like that," I replied, my tone equally as angry as my actions. "You just _don't_."

"I know," he responded.

"How would you?"

"Do you know what firebug is slang for down under?" he asked me.

I blinked. This was a seemingly random question. "No..." I said slowly.

"Scum," he answered. "You set fires in Australia, with all that brush, that's an instant lifer- either in jail... or in the asylum. I was too young for the first."

I sucked in my breath. "They-"

He nodded, still looking at me. "Yeah. They figure if you're crazy enough to commit arson out there, you're prime material for the looney bin."

A shiver ran down my spine. I did _not_ want to empathize with this boy. He'd hurt my best friend. For me, that was a crime worthy of death. But I did. I could tell he was telling the truth. I could see it in those eyes, those damned _eyes_ that wouldn't let me look away for more than a second.

I said it's what doomed me.

(John)

"I _am_ sorry, sheila," I said.

She looked happy to have something to be annoyed with me about. "It's _Wanda._"

"Do I look like I care?"

She sniffled and looked like she wanted to punch me again.

I held up the hand that wasn't draped on her shoulder in surrender.

(Wanda)

For the first time since he'd sat beside me, he looked away. "Do me a favor, huh?" he said. "I know you hate me, but could you please explain this all to Rogue? She deserves to know."

"You're still a bastard for what you did- making Remy choose you over Rogue."

John sighed. "You just don't get it, sheila. I wouldn't have done anything if I hadn't said anything to Remy. But we _swore_ we wouldn't have anything to do with Rogue. And you can call me overreactive, but I do _not_ take it lightly when someone I trust goes back on their word. It comes from that happening far, far too much in one lifetime, and not having too many people you trust."

I fiddled with a wayward strand of my hair. I sighed. "I will."

John smiled at me. It was a beautiful thing. "Thank you." He gave me a one-armed hug and then got up. "You should really go home, you know. It's gonna start raining again soon."

(There were a couple of cryptic statements in this chapter, I know, but it all gets explained. Eventually. Don't worry, you won't have that long to wait.)


	2. Kitty the Brave!

Disclaimer: "When she goes storming in I run for cover Rolling like thunderclouds Hanging above her"

(An: Here it is, the second chapter. This one is quite a bit less serious, and probably shorter to boot. I don't like to take any fic of mine too seriously. Therein the lies the path to sanity. There really is no point to the Kiotr in this story, btw. It's just too delicious an idea to pass by.)

(Wanda)

When I told Rogue and Kitty my story (leaving out the part about my fascination with John's eyes), they gaped.

Especially Rogue. She was staring down at her hands, fiddling with her bracelets. "John... _loves_ me?"

I felt a sudden surge of envy. I did my best not to show it, though. "That's what he said."

"He's a jerk," said Kitty decisively. "If he really liked Rogue, he'd want her to be happy!"

"I think that's what he meant," I said. "He wouldn't have done anything if Remy hadn't promised."

Rogue crossed her arms, scowling. "I'd complain, but this does sound like the kind of sorryass excuse Remy and John'd come up with. It's understandable, anyway... but they're still bastards."

"Well, I think you were right to punch him," said Kitty.

Rogue eyed her, her scowl deepening. "Whatever you're plotting, Kitty, stop."

Kitty assumed an overly innocent expression. "Who, me?"

(Kitty)

I'd like to think of what happened next as karmic realignment, not just as the total embarassment it was.

What'd I do?

My intentions were noble enough. I was going to make Remy feel guilty. Wanda had gone for justice. I went to make right what was completely wrong. I was going to help my friend by any means possible. I was Kitty the Brave, Kitty the Avenger!

It all went screwy, though, because I picked the wrong room.

Wouldn't have been as bad if it had been a different room, or a different time, or anything different, really. But it was Piotr's room, at the exact moment he was changing out of his uniform, at the exact second when he was pulling on his boxers.

I was halfway through the wall when I realized what a... compromising position I'd found my current interest in. All I could do was gape, halfway in and halfway out of his room. I have to admit, I liked what I saw.

That didn't stop me from being completely and totally mortified. I'm not like Wanda or Jubilee. If one of those two saw a guy they thought was attractive in the buff, they probably would crack some joke about ideal delivery while archiving the image for later use.

All I could do was squeak.

Up until that moment, Piotr hadn't noticed my presence. Despite the extreme mortification that instantly appeared on his face when he saw me, his beautiful, sky-blue eyes still made my knees weak.

Or, you know, they would've, if I hadn't been phasing and thus not using my knees.

"Sorry," I whispered, and ducked out of the wall.

I heard a thump, then, that I think was Piotr hitting the floor. I wouldn't know. At that moment, you couldn't have _paid_ me to go anywhere near that room again.

Noble mission forgotten, Kitty the Extremely Embarrased (but Still Somewhat Satisfied) slunk away into the night.

(John)

I heard the clunk when Piotr passed out, having the room next to him. And besides, approximately two hundred pounds of teen hitting the ground is a hard sound to miss in any circumstances.

"Pete?" I asked, knocking on his door. "You ok in there?"

The deafening rock music that had been blasting from Remy's room since he broke off his tryst with Rogue lowered a little as he peeked out. "Did you hear it too, then?"

"I'm not sure how you couldn't," I replied, unable to avoid the cold tone in my voice. Having no response from the tin man, I opened the door. I could only get it halfway open, though, because blocking it was a very naked (and apparently unconcious) Piotr.

"Oh, _Dieu_!" said Remy. "Shut the door!"

I did so, muttering to myself about this urge to help my friends that always sprung on me in situations like this. It always got me in trouble.

"I feel horribly inadequate now," said Remy.

This snapped it. Remy and I looked at each other, and for a few minutes, our friendship was exactly the way it used to be as we both burst out laughing.

"It's a waste," I gasped. "All of that on a guy that would probably keel over if any girl so much as whispered 'sex.'"

After a moment, a head popped out of Piotr's room. He was blushing from the neck up. "If anyone asks," he mumbled, "I am dead."

"Oh, don't be so fatalistic," said Remy, wiping his eyes. "You're gonna make some _femme_ _real_ happy someday."

I'd thought it was impossible, but somehow, Piotr got even redder. "You know, it is things like these that make those people go on killing sprees."

Remy and I exchanged glances again, and we snorted. "So who saw you?" I asked.

"Guess," Piotr replied.

"Was it that perky little sheila you're always trying to draw- Katie or whatever?"

"Kitty," Piotr corrected automatically.

"I don't know why you're embarrassed, Petey-dear," Remy replied, leaning against the wall and smirking.

"I shall return," said Piotr, "with a gun." And he ducked back into his room.

(Kitty)

I returned to my room, doubting that the crimson of my cheeks would ever fade. Rogue, of course, had to comment. "So did you just run the three-minute mile," she asked, propping her chin on her fist and smirking at me, "or did you run into Piotr?"

"Guess," I snapped, in no mood for her prodding.

"The latter, then," said Rogue.

"And here I thought _Jean_ was the psychic," I muttered.

"Aw, Kitty-cat," said Rogue, feigning offense, "I'm only curious about the emotional state of my best friend."

"And I'm only going to hit you once if you shut up now."

"Violence? Wow, you really _do_ have a thing for this guy."

"ARGH!"

"What happened?" Rogue repeated. I could tell she was only a few words away from getting Kurt in here to poke me, so I spilled.

After I finished, Rogue sat and stared at me for a moment. She made a bizarre little spluttering noise and fell off her bed. There was a thump, and more of the spluttering noises.

It didn't take me long to figure out she was trying not to laugh.

"That's it, you're dead," I said, jumping from my bed to hers, and then tackling her.

A serious nonfight erupted, and both of us ended up panting, on the floor, feeling very dusty.

"So are you gonna ask him out?"

It ocurred to me that since Rogue had hated, loved, broken up with, and forgiven Remy, she was a lot more open for girl talk. "NO!" I replied instantly.

"Seems to me like a perfect opportunity." I was looking at the ceiling, not Rogue, but I could hear the smirk in her voice.

"Rogue," I said, slowly and clearly. "What part of 'I just saw him NAKED' don't you GET?"

"The part where Kitty the Brave doesn't jump at the opportunity to ask out her crush."

"I'm never gonna be able to look him in the eye again," I moaned.

"So?"

I hit her. Hard.

Nevertheless, a few hours later, I ended up on the Acolyte's doorstep, trying desperately to think of Piotr dressed normally instead of Piotr naked. I knocked, resisting the urge to run off screaming. I knocked.

To my utmost relief, Mastermind answered the door. He eyed me with a mixture of curiousity and boredom. "You're looking for the tall one, right?"

"Piotr?"

"That's it," said Mastermind. "Follow me. And it's Jason."

As I'd just been wondering what his name was, this was handy information.

"Here's his room," said Jason, pointing at a door, from which the type of music that one would expect suicidal people to play was pouring. "As you can tell, he's a little upset."

I nodded, trying to resist the blush that was threatening as I knocked.

"Whoever you are, go away," said a voice from within. "I am-" The voice cut off as Piotr poked his head out of the door. "Hello, Kitty," he says, after a very awkward moment.

I sucked in a deep breath and went for my first defense- unintelligible, superfast Valley Girl speak. "Look, I'm really sorry about what happened yesterday, I didn't mean to walk in on you like that, I was trying to take the piss out of John but I found the wrong room even though Wanda told me where it was since I'm a ditz like that and did I mention I'm _really_ sorry?"

Piotr gave me the kind of look that didn't know whether to be embarrassed or amused.

I gave him a hopeful, blinding smile.

"It was an accident, Kitty, I know," he replied. His cheeks turned slightly red. "One would hope it doesn't happen again."

I nodded furiously. And before he could shut the door in my face, I blurted, "Do you want to go to a movie with me or something? I'm free Friday."

Piotr stared at me for a moment, then slowly nodded, as if in shock.

"Great! Don't call me, I'll call you!" And then I skipped down the hallway. Kitty the Brave was back!

(Remy)

About five minutes after Kitty left, I happened to peer out of my room. Piotr was standing in his doorway, looking rather confused. "You all right, Pete?"

"What just happened?" he inquired of me.

Having heard the whole thing (and having found it rather amusing), I replied, "You're going on a date with Kitty Pryde on Friday. Do you need me to repeat that slower?"

Piotr shook his head, looking awestruck but not unpleased.

I grinned, shaking my head as I retreated into my room.

(Now you see why I put this under just romance? The Kiotr evens out the Jonda. And trust me, all your questions shall be answered... next time, on the Twilight Zone! ...I mean, "Low Expectations.")


	3. Secrets

Disclaimer: "See you somewhere down the line Whichever once again I'm here And I'm on the mend I'm here And I'm on the mend, my friend"

(An: Here's where a couple of the questions about John get answered... Heh.)

(John)

I sighed, propping my feet on the headboard of my bed and staring up at the ceiling. Those few moments outside, when Remy and I had laughed and teased Piotr, had made me forget exactly why I was angry with him for a while.

All right, so maybe I hadn't been the best example of a friend either.

But there were only a few things I had in this world, and I wasn't willing to sacrifice any of them. My affections for Rogue were one of them.

Unfortunately, Remy was another. He was one of the few people who didn't ask me questions- he just knew. He knew why I was with Magneto, he knew where I came from, he knew the way I thought. I can't claim the same, but I don't think anyone really understands how Remy thinks. He's mysterious, and he likes it that way. He enjoys his secrets.

That's part of the reason, after all. If someone can break a promise like that, what does it mean? The fact that he didn't tell me about Rogue- tried to make her another one of his secrets- annoys me just as much as the actual relationship. If you can't tell your supposed best friend, who can you tell?

I'm not ashamed of the way I think. You might think it's wrong, but I don't. Maybe I am a little off in the head, but I don't give a damn.

Unwillingly, my mind drifted away from the unpleasant topic of Remy, to one that was equally so in a much different way. Rogue.

I met her on a rainy night.

I just happened to be the one who answered the door that night. If it had been Remy or Piotr, things would've gone much differently. But they didn't.

I've mentioned I have a weak spot for crying girls. Anybody who willfully makes a girl cry is scum, in my opinion.

Anyway, there Rogue was, standing on our doorstep, her head bowed and rain not the only thing trailing down her cheeks. She looked up, wiping at her eyes as though the tears were a horrid affliction. "Can I talk to you?"

I was rather taken aback by the question. I had never really met Rogue before- I kind of knew her by reputation alone, since Remy had always had a tendency to rant about her (he had never mentioned, though, that his feelings for Rogue might've been deeper than just annoyance and frustration). And the fact that someone who, as far as I could tell, made a point to be as strong and independent as possible was _asking_ for a shoulder to cry on was surprising.

I tell you, mate, I was doomed from the start. I let her in.

She was upset because her brother, Kurt, had almost died, partially thanks to her. Well, it wasn't really her fault, but, being her, Rogue saw it that way.

Apparently, Kurt had decided that Rogue should have a birthday. Since she didn't remember her own (or wouldn't tell), Kurt had appointed the day she'd switched sides as her birthday. And every year, he annoyed her with a party.

"God, I feel so _bad,_" Rogue had mumbled to me. "Every year, around this time, I treat him like dirt so he picks up on the hint. But he never does. He always gets everyone in the 'stute to give me those damn parties, no matter how much I tell him I don't want it or how rude I am to him. And now..." She had let out a little sob and grabbed me around the neck.

This, of course, was very startling to me. _I'm screwed_ was what popped into my head.

Eventually the rest of the story spilled out.

Kurt had been out buying her present when his inducer had shorted out. This was, of course, right in the middle of a fancy department store where he'd been dickering over the price of her gift.

Having a young, enterprising German boy who knows what he's talking about buying something is very different from having a blue, fuzzy, elf-demon dirtying your store.

After the shock had worn off, a riot had broken out. Kurt tried to 'port, but there had been too many people hanging onto him. He'd managed it, but only got to the door of the store.

He'd passed out.

According to Hank, it had been a stroke of luck and a true display of Kurt's endurance that he'd survived.

"He's still unconcious," Rogue had whispered into my neck. "And I can't talk to anyone else. Kitty's a wreck, Logan's pissed, and everyone else in the mansion... thinks it was kinda my fault. And so do I."

She'd kind of trailed off after that, her words degrading into sniffles.

"And you know what's the worst of it?" Rogue asked, after she'd calmed. She sat back in her chair. "He was buying me this." She took off her bracelet. It was a pretty little thing, black and silver with an emerald set in it. "It's a power negater. God knows how Kurt knew they had it, Since he'd paid for it, the store sent it to me anyway."

The thought that this beautiful creature could be touched now was almost impossible for me to bear.

Rogue wiped at her eyes a last time. "Thanks... We never really talked before... and you still listened to me."

"What else was I supposed to do?" I replied- one of the few things I contributed to our conversation.

"You could've slammed the door in my face, like someone else would've," she responded. She kissed my cheek and left.

The next day Remy asked me about our visitor. He hadn't known who it had been. I was surprised that he even knew someone had come over. I explained about Rogue, and Remy had given me a long, steady look.

That was when we decided that Rogue was strictly off-limits.

I had a rather nasty realization that night, as thoughts of Remy, Rogue, and Wanda had stewed in my mind.

Wanda had come here to hurt me for making her friend hurt. This meant that Rogue had probably cried over Remy breaking up with her. And it had been my anger that had led Remy to do that. So, inadvertently, I had made Rogue cry.

This meant, following my own logic, that I was scum.

Funny how things work out.

(Remy)

I rolled over and out of bed, landing on the floor. Somebody had knocked on my door, rousing me.

Resisting the urge to yawn until my jaw cracked, I opened my door.

John was standing there. Exactly what I was supposed to think, I'm not too sure. I eyed him warily. "'S there a reason for you coming in here at-" I looked at my clock, "-one in the morning, or are you just a sadist like that?"

(John)

I should've expected that kind of reaction from him. _This is what I get for being a jerk,_ I told myself, and tilted my head back so I could look him in the eye. "Actually, yeah," I said. "I've been a bloody jerk for the past few days."

"Glad you can admit it," said Remy, looking equally amused and serious.

"You make it really hard to apologize, mate, anyone ever told you that?"

A corner of Remy's mouth went up, in that trademark smirk of Remy's that annoyed me as much as it did everyone else. "Why, yes, probably. I just don't care."

I rolled my eyes. Classic Remy. "For the record, I am sorry. Can we forget this all ever happened?"

Remy cocked his head, studied me, then nodded. "Alright... that'd work."

Considering the circumstances, that was a pretty good response.

The next morning, I wandered into the itty-bitty room we called the kitchen and slumped down in a chair.

"Tired?" said a voice.

"Thanks," I mumbled, still half-asleep, as a coffee cup was pushed into my hands. I took a deep drink and then looked up. "Wait... What're you doing here?"

(Wanda)

I grinned at John, leaning back in my seat. I shrugged. "We were out of cereal and money at the boarding house, and figured I could probably hit you guys up for food."

Piotr shot me an incredulous look.

"I second that," John agreed. He eyed me skeptically, sipping his coffee. "Wow, Remy must've been tellin' the truth 'bout the Brotherhood if this seems better."

"Like I'd lie about that," Remy replied, grabbing John's coffee and draining the rest in a single gulp, his nose in the newspaper.

"Hey!"

Remy set the mug down and walked out.

"Swamp rats," John muttered. "Can't live with 'em, can't incinerate them."

I snorted.

"Be nice, John," said Piotr. "Lighter fluid is highly explosive."

"Like I care," he responded.

(John)

"Where's the bathroom?" Wanda asked.

Piotr and I both pointed at it without looking up from our breakfast.

Remy came in and sat down next to me, propping his boots on the table.

"You owe me coffee now," I informed him.

Remy looked up and gave me the "Do I _look_ like I care?" eyebrow.

Wanda leaned out of the bathroom. "Toilet paper?"

Remy (whom she couldn't see) looked at me, raised his eyebrows, and shook his head.

I relayed the gesture to Wanda.

She grabbed some paper towels and ducked back inside the bathroom.

Remy looked at me, smirking.

"Say anything, and I'll fry your cards," I said. "I swear I will. Every pack you've got in that dresser drawer."

Remy looked shocked that I knew about his "secret" hiding place. "You wouldn't."

I held up an ace of spades and my lighter, bringing up a flame.

Remy gasped and grabbed at the card.

I flicked it at his face, just to show him how annoying it was.

(Wanda)

I emerged from the bathroom, giving John a dirty look. I shoved Remy out of my chair and sat down.

"_Femme's_ strong," Remy commented from the floor.

"I live in a house of perverted guys," I replied. "Do the math."

"You don't live with him," said John, pointing at Remy. "A different sheila once a week, always on Tuesday. Like clockwork, it is."

"I hate you," said Remy, still under the table. He got up with all the dignity of an offended lion and walked out.

Piotr sighed audibly, propping his chin on his fist.

"Actually, the Brotherhood's probably worse," said John. "Watch this." He leaned over by Piotr. "SEX!" he crowed.

Piotr spasmed and slumped over the table.

Remy stuck his head in the room. "Where?"

Simultaneously, without a word or a glance, John and I pointed out the window.

Remy looked at us, snorted, and walked off again.

"Poor git," said John, patting Piotr's back.

"I should tell Kitty about that," I mused.

"Heh," said John. "You're evil. I like that."

"Thanks...?" I said, with a crooked smile.

"It was a compliment, sheila."

"Right," I said. "And my name's _Wanda._"

John looked up, his eyebrows raised.

"That's more intimidating when Remy does it."

I saw something odd flash across John's face. Just for an instant, he looked equally suspicious and jealous. The look disappeared as soon as it came, though. "You're a piece of work, Wanda, you know that?"

I cocked my head.

"Again, compliment."

"Sure," I said. I studied him. He looked absolutely gorgeous like that- leaning back in his chair, his hands behind his head and a carefree smile on his face. I blushed slightly, deciding the tabletop was safer.

Piotr got up, all red. "I'm going to kill you one of these days, John," said Piotr. "And I shall laugh."

"Love you too, Petey," said John lazily.

Piotr's eye twitched. He clumped off.

(John)

"What time is it?" Wanda asked suddenly.

I glanced at the clock over the stove. "If this thing is to be trusted, almost nine."

"Fuck!" said Wanda. "I said I'd meet Rogue."

I don't open my eyes, but my interest meter goes off the scale. Wanda and Rogue. The perfect combination. _Where did _that_ come from?_ I wondered, sitting up and glancing at Wanda.

The goodbye kiss she gave me was unexpected, but far, _far_ from unpleasant.

(Wanda)

I didn't really think about kissing him. I just did. He just kind of turned his head so that the sun from the window made his face look perfect... I couldn't help it.

Turning about as red as the streaks in my hair, I stammered, "I'll- I'll let myself out, shall I?" I bolted.

As I ran to meet Rogue, his taste lingered on my lips like a secret.

(Rogue)

I was leaning on the bridge, my head leaned back into the warm sunshine and my eyes closed, when Wanda showed up. I opened an eye. "You're late," I informed her.

"I was... distracted," said Wanda. To my surprise, she blushed.

I raised an eyebrow. "Got something juicy, do you?" I asked.

"Yes," said Wanda instantly. She straddled the bridge, her words coming out in a rush. "You're in love with Remy. John's in love with you... and... I think I may just be in love with John."

I stared at her. What else was I supposed to do?

(I didn't have writer's block; I just got lazy and couldn't be arsed to start. Review, please.)


	4. Words and Actions

Disclaimer: "Hope to rest upon Could I be the one To break a will so strong Pray it won't be long 'Til your will is gone Everything is done Are you there? I don't feel you anymore"

(An: I wasn't lazy. I was busy. I swear. Oh, by the way, biiig no-prize for the reference in here... If this chapter sounds a little off, blame all the oneshots I've been writing.)

(Rogue)

"Well," I said, after a moment, "seems to me like you should be tellin' John that, not me."

Wanda threw up her hands. "I barely know the guy! He'd think I was a freak!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Apparently the man fell in love with me after one encounter; he shouldn't find it too strange."

Wanda glared at me, obviously unsatisfied with this.

"Go talk to John," I said.

Wanda frowned at me, then paused. "What, exactly, did you want me for, anyway?"

I grinned and leaned back on the bridge. "Never mind, girl." I waved a hand at her. "Move it." I brushed away a strand of hair in my face. _After all_, I thought,_ I just wanted someone to rant to about Remy again..._

(Wanda)

_What business of hers is it?_ I thought, crossing my arms and glaring at my feet as I stalk off. "Holy crap, it's cold out here!" 

I leaned against a tree, fiddling with my hair. _I mean... it's probably warmer at the Acolytes than in my room... not like I have a heater... and Toad's home all day..._

"GRR!" I yelled.

A couple of people stopped and stared.

_Shit!_ "Well, what're you staring at? Don't you have somewhere _warmer_ to be?"

They scattered.

"Argh," I muttered, expressing my anger more quietly now. "Oh, screw this." I stalked off, deciding it would be better to languish in internal agony inside than it would be to languish outside.

I wandered into the first coffee shop I spotted, the Acoustic Cafe. I sat down at a booth and glared down at the tabletop as though it had done me a great personal wrong.

Then, of course, two new people came into the cafe, and my day went from bad to worse.

(John)

"And she just kissed you," said Remy, incredulous. "Out of the blue."

"I'm serious, mate!" I said, as I pushed open the door. "It was really weird... not bad weird, mind, just kinda random."

"Heh!" said Remy, seeming extremely amused.

I stopped short in the doorway to the Acoustic Cafe, crossing my arms and glaring at Remy. "Look, whatever nefarious path your train of thought is following, turn around now, dammit!"

"Hey, look!" said Remy, ignoring me. "Speak of the devil..."

I turned and spotted Wanda, who looked as though she'd just been slapped in the face.

"Ha!" said Remy. He shoved me into the cafe and shut the door, walking off.

Cursing him and all his relations, I slipped into the booth across from Wanda. "Hey, sheila," I said.

Wanda turned redder than her hair and ducked her head. "Hi, John," she mumbled.

"Coffee and pie?" said a hopeful-looking waitress who walked up to our table.

I glanced at Wanda, who shrugged at me. "Just the coffee, sheila," I said. "I think she's still thinking."

The waitress beamed at me and walked off. 

"So...?" I said, messing with my sleeve.

"Yeah," said Wanda instantly.

Somehow, we conveyed more in those two words then we could have in a thousand.

(Wanda)

John stared down at the table for a moment longer, then looked up. I met his eyes. "So..." he repeated.

"You're going to have to say more than that to get her to go out with you," said the waitress, setting a cup of coffee before John.

He gaped at her as she walked off.

I resisted the urge to snicker. "So why are you here?" I asked.

"Remy's idea," said John. "He wanted to try someplace new. You?"

"It's fricking _freezing_ outside," I said.

"Amen, sheila!" said John.

I toyed with my earring as John looked at his hands again.

"So, um, Wanda," he said, and I could tell it was an effort for him to meet my eyes, "would you want to... go see a movie or something?"

Instantly, the memory of that kiss popped into my head. _YES!_ inner Wanda screamed. _No!_ said my head. "Uh..." I said. I looked him up and down, and affected an I-could-care-less tone. "I can't be seen with you, boy. Just look at you. It would ruin my image."

He cocked his head slightly, and then reached over and took my hand, stroking my palm with his thumb and smiling at me with those goddamn _eyes_. "You can trust me, sheila. I know what it's like."

After a moment... "Yes, I would love that."

"Thought so," said John, smirking at me.

I considered jerking my hand out of his grip and slapping him with it, but thought better of it.

(Kitty)

I fiddled with my ponytail.

"Kitty," said Rogue from her bed. "You look _great_, dammit!"

"Yeah, but-"

"If you finish that sentence, I swear to _God_ I am going to zap you and drag you to the park myself," Rogue growled.

I set down the hairbrush, biting my lip.

"Honestly, Kitty," said Rogue, "Piotr is going to be dazzled out of his little Russian farmboy _mind_ the moment he sees you, ok? So move it! You're gonna be late!"

I stared at my reflection for a moment longer, until I saw Rogue taking off her glove. "Ok, ok, I'm going!"

(Piotr)

Remy shoved me out of the door on Friday. "Get!" he yelled.

"But-"

"I don't care, and I highly doubt Kitty will either," said Remy, slamming the door in my face.

"I have the greatest friends in the world," I muttered, putting my hands in my pockets.

(Kitty)

Piotr was waiting in the park for me, like we'd arranged. I slid onto the bench beside him. He glanced at me and his face lit up. He was so cute it was almost ridiculous. "Hello, Kitty," he said. "You look nice."

"Thanks," I said. After a moment of silence, I blurted, "How did a nice guy like you get stuck with _Magneto_?"

Piotr looked at me intensely, his face withdrawn. After a moment, he looked back over at the trees. He stood up and took my hand, starting to walk along the path.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," I said. "I don't know what made me say that at all, actually."

"No, it's all right," said Piotr. "I have never... talked about it before. Remy and John don't ask questions."

"Don't ask, don't tell, huh," I replied.

Piotr gave me a distracted smile. "I would suppose," he said. He tilted his head up at the sky as though asking it where to begin. "My little sister is sick- Illyana is her name. She's very young- only about six. Magneto says that as long as I work for him, he'll keep paying the doctors to care for her. I don't believe a word of Magneto's, but I can't take a chance on my snowflake." His face is quietly mournful. "I wish I knew where she was. I haven't seen her in almost three years."

I suddenly empathized with the little girl, lost in a new country, with the only people she trusted far away, and sick to boot. I squeezed Piotr's hand, and a sad little smile came onto his face. "What about your parents?" I asked.

His face darkened again and he looked away. "I don't know," he murmured. "Illyana was taken by force in the night. When I woke up, she and the rest of my family were gone... Magneto will not tell me what he did with them."

I bit my lip, looking at the ground. Then, after a moment, I stood on the tips of my toes (Piotr _is_ almost a foot taller than me) and kissed him softly.

There were a thousand things I could've said, but I've found that actions convey far more than words most of the time.

(Wanda)

Dating John was a curious experience. A few days after he originally asked me, he called the Brotherhood house. Pietro had given me a dirty, "I'm gonna give you a 'brotherly' lecture for this'" look when he handed me the phone. I just rolled my eyes at him and sat back down on my bed. "Hello?"

"Wanna go annoy people with me, sheila?"

"Wanda," I replied, out of habit. "Why not."

"Brilliant! Meet me outside park in ten minutes."

He hung up and I shook my head at the phone. Then I bounced off the bed, grinning, and went to find my makeup.

(John)

It's an evil conundrum when one is late for a date one set.

I was booking it across town to the park gates, and a frenzied inner monologue was going in my brain. _Book it, book it, book it... can't be late, you made this, she'll hate you if she thinks you're not coming... stupid microwave... can't break her trust- oh, that's gonna-_

The ending to that last thought was _Hurt_ of course, since I'd just tripped over my own loosely tied sneakers. "FUCK!" I yelled, loud enough to scare away a few patronizing pigeons.

I got up and started for the gates again. _Booking, I'm booking... jogging, I'm jogging... limping... I'm limping... ow._ It's rather hard to run fast when you've just scraped both knees and bruised your ankle, I found.

_She's gonna murder me..._

I didn't know why I was so intent on making this date on time (or close to it; I was already at least five minutes late). I had set it myself and I liked keeping my word, but it wasn't that, not really... Honestly, I had no idea why I'd set the date at all, or asked Wanda out in the first place. There was something about her... She was a kindred spirit.

And then of course there was the whole random kitchen kiss. That was a major factor. When someone's actions screamingly suggest that they've got a thing for you, it's always a good idea to start something with them.

(Wanda)

I have to admit, I did consider just walking away. But that was the sort of thing Rogue would do- be offended by a boy who was only five minutes late.

After about ten minutes though, my faith in John was beginning to wane, and it was purely by chance that John got there after fifteen, when I was about to leave.

"Sorry... late..." John gasped, bent over with his hands on his knees. "Had... issues..."

"Deep breaths," I suggested. "Did you run the whole way here?"

"Sort... of..." said John, taking my advice and taking a few slow breaths. "I fell and ended up walking half the way, or I would've been here sooner."

"So why were you late?" I leaned back against the wall around the park, an eyebrow raised.

"Remy set the microwave on fire," said John. "And... well... you get the idea. He ended up setting half the kitchen alight."

"_Remy_ did?" Both eyebrows went up now.

"I take offense at that," said John, drawing himself up and putting a hand on his chest. "I only use fire to destroy things I don't like. Certainly, the little hovel we call home isn't much, but I think your dad would get suspicious if a second base in a row burned down."

"Good point," I admitted.

"Wanna go for coffee?" John asked, after a moment.

"How does this translate to annoying people?"

"I'm not sure yet," John let on, "but it shall, you believe me."

I smiled at him as he started off. After a few steps, he took my hand, his own smile slightly shy.

(John)

I won't go into detail as to what we did for the rest of the day. Just know that it left me with a warm fuzzy feeling. Which would've been vaguely creepy if it weren't so nice.

(Rogue)

The day after my meeting with Wanda, I was regaled with details twice.

The first was by Kitty, who had gotten in after I was asleep. She was somewhere above cloud nine, since she had kissed Piotr twice- once after he'd told her about his contract with Magneto, and once before he left.

I bore this in silence, and Kitty seemed to realize that I was not as keen on the subject as I had been last night, having been left to pine for Remy all night, so she shut up and left me alone for a while.

I miss him terribly, although I'd never admit that to his face. And I'd take him back in an instant, for all my bluster about trust and love and such.

Wanda does say that he misses me as well, but why should I be the one to chase him, when he's the one who deserted _me_?

The instant answer to that question is _Because you love him_, but that is always quickly tamped down.

And after I'd been left to stew for a few hours, Wanda came in. She was positively glowing. "Let me guess," I said, rolling over and burying my face in my pillow, "John asked you out."

She sat down on the edge of her bed. "Well, yes," she said. "I was going to bring that up eventually, but I was really coming in here to bother you about Remy. I just mean, since John's with me," she sounded so happy at that statement that I equally wanted to squeal with her as vomit, "he shouldn't object to you getting back with Remy... At least, I would hope not, since we've already gone out together." 

"Wanda, if he's leading you on, I have first rights to kick his ass," I replied, flipping over on my back again. "You can hex whatever's left."

She laughed. "I'll keep that in mind. And you," she reached over and flicked me in the ear, "stop being such a goddamn idiot and go talk to Remy."

"Fuck off," I muttered, rolling over again.

Wanda began humming the chorus from "Won't Say I'm in Love."

I sat up swiftly and began smacking her with my pillow. "Out! Out! Get OUT!"

Wanda ran out of the room, cackling madly to rival John.

I fell back on my bed, crossing my arms. If looks could kill, the ceiling would've been dead as a doornail.

_You see?_ I thought. _If I were in love, I would act like_ that. _Thank God for small blessings._

Another thing that occurred to me was that if John had seen how Wanda was behaving, he would either reconsider his options or realize he'd found someone a lot better for him than me. After all, what you do says a lot more than what you bluster about.

_And you,_ said that annoying little head voice that everyone has, _are blustering._

"GRR!" I yelled at the ceiling.

(Kitty)

It was pretty amusing seeing Rogue be indecisive over the next few days. It was even _more_ amusing knowing she was trying to hide it.

(Rogue)

Ok, so it took me a while (five days to be exact; I'm not the fastest of decision makers) to actually get up the balls to decide to go and talk to Remy. After all, a lot of things had been left unsaid in our relationship. It had been one of those accidental things... wonderful, just not on purpouse.

And if we didn't end up back together, well, then, at least all my niggling questions would be answered. Win-win, or something like that.

Despite my resolution, though, I didn't get my chance for a while. It was the usual woes of being an X-man- whenever you wanted to do something, you got sent off on a mission.

(Wanda)

Two weeks. That's a time of some import to me, because that's how long my relationship with John lasted. I learned a lot about him, and everything I saw made me love him more. The same passion he put into his words that first night showed up in everything else he did.

"Rogue said she'd have to kill you if she saw you without me around," I said. This was one of those things women say because they know they're going to cause trouble. It's one of those curses of my gender.

But, to my surprise, John just shrugged. His expression didn't change at all. "If you'd told me that _last_ week," he said, "then maybe it would've bothered me. But now... nah."

I had to turn back to the penguins so he wouldn't see the grin that simply exploded all over my face.

(John)

She had a really pretty smile.

This simple thought was enough to make me realize how attached I was getting to this girl. Was this good? Bad? Disgustingly desperate? I wasn't sure.

Now, despite what you might think of me from previous suggestions, I am ridiculously insecure. Being treated like you're worthless time after time really starts to make you think you actually might be. Preposterous, you call it, but it's my life.

I just hoped that it didn't show up when I kissed her.

(Wanda) 

There were several nice things about dating John. I got to know him. He got to know me. I had a socially acceptable reason to stare at him. I could figure out if the thoughts that ran through my head whenever I saw him were just lust, or something more.

Oh, yeah, and John's a great kisser. He was kind of shy about it, like he didn't think I was interested- as if!- but once he realized I was, he warmed up quickly.

We were standing outside the Brotherhood house when he did it.

"Your palace awaits," said John.

"Ah, the biting taste of irony," was my reply. 

"Delicious, isn't it?" John agreed. Having said that, he stared at me for a few moments, then kissed me.

Yeah, one of the more remarkable moments of my life, that.

After it, things moved fast. I don't know John's half of the story, but... I was a fool for him. I've never been one to trust fast and I don't know what made me trust him. He was honest and sweet, but that had never been enough for me to go for anyone before.

I suppose when something is built fast, something ends fast as well.

(John)

The problem, I think, with my half of my relationship with Wanda was that I was never clear on things. With Rogue it was thirty seconds and I _knew_ I loved her. With Wanda, it was two days and I knew... pretty much nothing. I was confused. She'd come into my life at one of its most insane points, the best possible thing at the worst possible time. She wiped away everything I knew and replaced it with some vague words and feelings. 

Love is a pretty word, one that never occurred to me until it was beyond my reach. Bastard is an ugly word, but it goes pretty far in describing me.

Basically, after that first kiss (well, second, I guess, if you have to be picky), things heated up.

I may's well tell you how it ended, because that explains my sudden pessisimism.

It started with one of the more perfect moments of my life, two weeks into dating Wanda.

(Wanda)

I was lying on my bed when John came rushing in, looking around like a terrified rabbit. "What's the matter with you?" I asked, looking up with a raised eyebrow.

"Sabretooth found the present I left for him," he said. "Hide me!" He glanced around the room, then hid under my bed. A loud rumbling started up.

"John, get out from under there," I said.

"No!"

"I'm telling you, that's not a good idea. Ebony doesn't like strangers."

"Ebony?"

"My cat."

"Oh, is that what that noise is?" John asked, poking his head out. "Funny, I thought it was a vibrator."

I don't think I've ever gone redder in my life. "I do _not_ have a vibrator!" I shrieked. "Get up here!"

"If you insist, luv," said John, wiggling out and pulling himself up beside me. "And here I thought all sheilas had vibrators."

"Yeah, well," I said, my cheeks dull pink, "I don't. And who've you been hanging out with, to get that kind of impression?"

He just stared at me.

"Remy. Right."

(John)

Wanda rolled her eyes at me and layed back down on her bed. I scooted closer to her. "At least the cat's shut up now," I said.

"Don't say that too loudly," Wanda replied. "Ebony wouldn't like it."

"I'll take your word for that."

Wanda assessed me out of the corner of her eyes for a moment and then rested her head on my chest. I put an arm around her and she moved more into my grip.

We stayed like that for a while, not saying anything- Wanda because she was thinking and me because I could tell she had something on her mind. After probably ten minutes, she bit her lip and said, "John?"

"Yeah?"

"If I said something that sounds stupid and immature even to me, would you promise not to mock me for it?"

I looked over at her, but she was serious. "Sure, all right..."

She tilted her head back a little, closing her eyes. "I'm in love with you."

My eyes snapped to her. Her own were still closed, obviously expecting negative repercussions to her simple statement. I just stared at her for a minute. That was one of the things about her- she was so scared to get hurt. Me, I jumped back into the fray and got hurt again.

I didn't say anything in response, just kissed her. Because really, how are you supposed to reply to that?

(Rogue)

Ok, so it had been a long mission. The mutant we were after was particularly stubborn, and in Japan no less. We had to rescue him from the Yakuza, turn around his way of thinking, blah blah blah that's not what you're interested in.

I got Kurt to walk me to the park, just so I couldn't lose my nerve. He was better now, pretty much. He just wasn't supposed to 'port as much, which really annoyed him. "Why, exactly, are we going to the park?" Kurt asked me.

"I'm not gonna tell you," I replied.

"Well, then, why do I have to go with you?" 

"Because you're part of the reason I'm going to the park."

Kurt's face looked like one big question mark.

"I'll tell you eventually," I said, shrugging. I poked him. "Now scat."

Kurt pulled a face at me, rolled his eyes, and walked off.

I watched him go and then shoved my hands in my pockets and started for the Acolyte house.

(Remy)

I wish I had had the balls to slam the door in her face. Rogue is the person who's wrecked everything about my life. My attitude about women was shattered when I saw her green eyes. My viewpoint of my way of life was changed when she turned her back on it to do the right thing in the bayou. She ruined my relationship with my best friend. And I still couldn't slam that damn door. I couldn't even say something first.

"Ok," said Rogue, more to herself, than to me. Then she looked up and slapped me across the face. _Hard_. "You're an IDIOT!" she yelled.

"So what else is new?" I stammered. _This just _proves_ that I should stop answering the door_, I thought, as I fingered the second mark I'd gotten for opening it.

Rogue glared at me and shoved me inside, shutting the door behind her. "I don't _care_ how long you've been friends with John," she went on, pushing me back against the wall, "nobody treats me like that." Then she grabbed me by the collar and kissed me so hard I was surprised she didn't leave a mark. "For Christ's sake, Remy," she said when she broke it off, "grow a backbone!"

When I got my voice back I put my face very close to hers. "Screw John," I said. I took my face in her hands and kissed her.

(Rogue)

As I sat down on the couch next to Remy, I realized that the little talk I had planned out in my head hadn't happened. I also realized as I layed my head in his lap that I didn't really care. He stroked my hair and I smiled.

(John)

Things with Wanda always seemed to be a matter of timing. Usually, bad timing. Given a year locked up with my laptop, I don't think I could've thought up a worse timeline. Wanda tells me she loves me, everything else goes along smooth, and then we walk back to my place.

Well enough, right?

Add this scene to it and it all falls apart.

Wanda and I walked through the door quietly. One of the things I liked about her was that conversation flowed so easily between us, without thought or pretension. But right then it didn't seem like anything really needed to be said.

I never should've stopped when I saw Remy and Rogue stretched out on the couch together. I should have kept walking. But it surprised me, enough to make me still my steps with a blank expression on my face. They couldn't even see me. But I could see them, and that was bad enough. God, it was bad enough.

Wanda followed my eyes and stopped dead herself, her face going very white. She looked at me with a pleading expression on her face, as silent as I was.

Let me just say, before you finally write me off as a jerk, I hadn't felt anything up to that point. Remy and Rogue just caught me off guard, the simple fact that they'd gotten back together. I don't know why I stopped, because it didn't bother me.

But Wanda just looking at me, her eyes wide with hurt and betrayal, that killed me. Just looking at her made me feel like curling up and dying.

I didn't say anything, though. Unlike before, plenty needed to be said. I just couldn't say it. And what good are words, anyway, if they desert you at a time like this?

(Wanda)

During that whole time, Rogue and Remy didn't see us. When I looked at them and then at John, all I wanted him to do was hold my hand, like Remy was holding Rogue's. That would prove that it was me that he cared about, and not Rogue. That would make everything all right.

He didn't, though. He just stood there, watching them with his face completely empty of expression. It was bad enough, though.

I got my voice back first, backing up and shaking my head. "You're just like everyone else," I whispered. "What the hell was I expecting? For fuck's sake, you work for my dad!" My voice increased in volume as I spoke, but I didn't really notice. I did notice when it broke, though. "I knew I shouldn't have trusted you. You just hurt everyone around you, don't you? Remy, Rogue... me... You always think that you're the one who's getting betrayed, but that's not it. It's you, John, oh, God, it's _you_, who's doing it."

"Wanda," he murmured. "I..."

"No!" I said, shaking my head harder. His eyes looked sorry, but it was those eyes that had gotten me in trouble, wasn't it? So I just repeated, "No. You don't have to say anything. You've already let your actions speak for you. So just... go do whatever it is the hell you do all day and leave me alone. Leave me the hell alone." I shook my head at him again and walked out.

The tears didn't hit me until I was halfway to the Brotherhood house.

(I'm so so sorry this took so long. I just got really apathetic about this story and couldn't touch it for a few weeks. It is good and long, though. I hope to have the next (and, unfortunately, last) chapter along sooner, though. That said, don't kill me for the way it ended...)


	5. I Couldn't

Disclaimer: "Promise I will be forever yours Promise not to say another word Never mind, what's done is done Always was a lucky one"

(An: So here is the last chapter... I'm not sure if you would call it a happy ending, but, oh well. Oh, btw, I know Pietro never actually grabbed John's ass, but a lot of people took it that way. -wink- I don't think either of them swing that way, so it would make excellent blackmail.)

(John)

Wanda didn't slam the door. I wish she had. It would have been more final. In a fog, I made my way into the kitchen and tried to figure out how exactly I had ruined it all.

(Rogue)

When I found John slumped over the table with the phone in his hand, I wasn't sure what to think. All I knew was that he looked more depressed than humanly possible, and was staring at the phone as though he couldn't believe it was real. He looked up when I came into the room, and then back at the phone. "They put me on hold," he mumbled, propping his chin on his fist.

I sat down across from him, morbidly curious. "Who?"

"The suicide hotline," John said, setting the phone back on the hook. "I mean, is that some kind of sign? What Wanda said basically meant that I don't do anyone any good and now it seems like the whole world is agreeing with her."

I cocked my head. "Just what did she say?"

John shook his head. "I... I can't..." He buried his face in his hands. "She was right, Rogue, dammit, she was _right_! I'm a bastard. I've been doing my best to deny it, but all I do is fuck up other people's lives."

I reached over and slapped him.

He stared at me, his blue eyes wet and innocent.

"Shut up."

He blinked.

"You're not a bastard," I said. "You're an idiot. A screaming, blatant idiot. Your heart's in the right place, you just never listen to it."

He stared at me as if he'd never seen me before.

(John)

"Very simply, you know I'm right," she went on. "And whatever Wanda said, she didn't mean it. But whatever you did to her..." She slapped me again. "You deserve to be shot for it. Killed somehow painful. She was so scared to love you, John! You _idiot_!"

I slumped over the table again. "Both of you are right," I realized aloud after a moment. "But that doesn't answer what the hell I'm supposed to do."

"That one you're gonna havta figure out on your own, John. You can either sit here and feel sorry for yourself, push it all behind you and move on, or you can go find Wanda, because odds are she's ten times as miserable as you are." Then she slapped me again.

I looked up at her.

"I promised Wanda that if you ever did something to her, I'd kick your ass," Rogue said, getting up. "I'd do a better job, but you seem to be managing pretty well on your own."

"That I am," I said with a bitter little smile.

"If you want to do something right for once," Rogue said, pausing in the door, "you could start now."

When she left, I sighed. I knew what she meant. It just wasn't the world's loveliest prospect.

(Wanda)

I made myself keep walking, resisting the urge to just sit down on a curb and cry and let a bus hit me.

As soon as I stepped foot in the Brotherhood house, Pietro zipped up to me. "What's wrong?"

I just stared at him. When he just stared back, I said, "Since when have we been touchy-feely? Last I remembered," my hands glowed blue, "I hated you and you were scared shitless of me."

"Well, maybe it's time for that to change," Pietro replied, crossing his arms and staring me down.

That tore it. I couldn't control myself anymore. The glow faded and I collapsed onto my knees, right there on the doormat.

Pietro pulled me inside and dragged me over to the couch. I don't think I was ever gladder I had a brother.

(Pietro)

When I saw John on the doorstep, I couldn't decide if he had really good or really bad timing. On the one hand, he had just broken my sister's heart less than an hour ago, and on the other, my sister spilling her guts to me meant I was good and wound up to kick his ass.

John seemed to sense this, because he backed up. "Er..." he said. He rubbed his neck and looked away for a second, then made himself meet my eyes. "I'm here to see Wanda."

"I know that," I replied. "The question is, how should I kill you for that hubris?"

He stared at me for a second (I think it was because of my use of "hubris") before sighing. "I figured this would happen," he said, mostly to himself. "This was stupid. Totally pointless." He turned around and looked up at the sky. "What is the point?" he demanded of it. "What is the fucking _point_?" He turned around. "Kill me. Spare me the trouble, please."

It was the "please" that made me realize he was serious. I frowned. "I don't believe it," I said slowly (yes, I said _slowly_). "You're as broken up about this as she is."

"Yes," John agreed. "It's amazing what a couple of sharp slaps to the face and the soothing sound of hold music can do for your brainpower, isn't it?"

"If you're still sane enough to be sarcastic, you're not upset enough for me to let you see her."

"I'm not being sarcastic," John replied. "Just keeping my mind off things."

"Off what?"

John whirled on me and came right up in my face, moving almost as fast as I did... when I was walking, that is, but you get the drift. "The _fact_, Pietro, that I just ruined my life for the," he paused, "for the _third_ time this month."

"So then it can't matter that much to you," I answered.

"Actually," said John, "this one matters the most. I can live without Rogue or Remy," and he paused again, and his voice was the whisper of someone realizing something for the first time, "but I can't live without Wanda. Or, at least, I can't have her hate me. For Christ's sake, Pietro, at least let me _talk_ to her!"

My frown deepened and I crossed my arms.

"I didn't get to say anything to her," he pleaded, his blue eyes, desperate, so much less guarded than my sister's.

"The last thing she wants right now, and I can assure you, because I was just talking to her myself, is to talk to _you_. You, Pyro, are pond scum. Saying that is an insult to pond scum, but I can't think of a better name right now."

John sighed again. "Don't make me pull my ace in the hole, Pietro," he said, looking at me through slitted eyes.

I blanched. "You wouldn't."

"Ten minutes," he said, holding up that many fingers, "ten minutes with Wanda. That's all I'm asking, Pietro. You can come up and do whatever the hell you want to me, but give me time to speak my piece."

I wrinkled my nose, unwilling to let this slide but I just couldn't have John's blackmail available to the general public. "_Fine_," I growled, "but if you make my sister cry like that again, _ever_," I leaned in real close, "I don't care, I will kill you. I'll rip your heart out and push you off a bridge before your brain even notices you're dead."

John leaned away, nodding. "All righty then, mate," he said, looking severely skeeved out.

I glared at him for an extra second for emphasis, then stepped aside. As he walked inside, I thought, _Last time I ever grab somebody's ass, be they guy _or_ girl._

(John)

When I walked up to Wanda's room, I felt more nervous than I ever had in my life. Know how in bad novels they describe your fear "growing with every step"? I had never believed that, but unfortunately it's true. Sad state of affairs, I swear.

Anyway, I didn't bother to knock on Wanda's door. I knew it was locked. I just gave the door a good hard kick to its hinges and it swung open. _Works every time._

"Fuck. Off," said a figure from the bed. There was a flash of blue light that went close enough to ruffle my hair.

I didn't say anything, just quietly sat on Wanda's bed, with a realization that I still had _no_ idea of what to say. I reached out and touched her hand, which extended out from underneath the blanket.

It was retracted with a sharp intake of breath from Wanda. "I know who you are," she said, "and I would think that even someone like you would know that you have no right to approach me. I said what I said and I _meant_ it, goddammit!"

"I know," I replied.

"I won't kill you," Wanda said, "because I don't want to lower myself like that. But I fucking _swear_, if you don't leave within the next two seconds, I'll make you hurt so bad you'll wish I had."

I reached over and slid the blanket off her head, gently stroking her hair now.

"Don't you _dare_ touch me!" she shrieked, jerking away as if burned and rolling off the bed. She flipped up and faced me like a caged animal. I just did my best to not let my expression change and met her gaze. "I don't know what you were thinking," she said after a minute of this, "but whatever you say won't be any good. What you did to me, leading me on like that... you don't _do_ stuff like that, John. I thought you understood!" Her eyes were wet.

I stood up without making a sound and just continued staring at her. 

"Stop that!" she shrieked, looking as though she wanted to look away but couldn't make herself.

"Stop what?" I said quietly.

"Stop looking at me," she whispered, closing her eyes, "stop looking at me like you know everything about me."

I didn't.

(Wanda)

For the second time that day, I squatted, covering my head with my hands and trying to avoid all-out sobbing. I wasn't going to let him see me cry, since the first time I'd let him do that was what got me into this mess. "Just please, please, _please_ leave me alone," I mumbled.

"I can't do that," John replied, and I could feel his breath on my face.

I opened one eye, and saw he was sitting right next to me, in nearly the exact same position, but his hands were on my shoulders. I wanted to push away from him but couldn't quite manage it. He was meeting my eyes and, as usual, I could see exactly what he thought reflected in them. I had to close my eyes again, because I merely saw my own emotions reflected in them and couldn't take it. There were a lot of things I couldn't make myself do when it came to John.

"Wanda," he murmured. "I don't know everything about you. We barely know each other. Right now... right now I don't know anything. Except that you were right and I'm a bastard and that everything right now is _wrong_." He put his hand under my chin. "Wanda, please. Just look at me."

I didn't want to, but I did anyway. I opened my eyes and stared back at him sullenly as he dropped his hand.

"It's probably never going to be ok between us ever again and this means that what I'm gonna say won't matter at all but," he took in a deep breath, "I love you. And I'm an idiot for not noticing, and an idiot for not saying anything, and I should just stay away from you because I will just end up doing the same thing again and I couldn't bear that." He hung his head then, having said his part.

"Oh, John," I sighed. "We're such fuckups."

He glanced up at me, blinking.

"Isn't love supposed to be easy?" I whispered.

"Nothing's ever been easy for me," he replied, "so why should it change now?" He put his hand on my cheek, looking at me with completely naked affection.

"Maybe," I said, "maybe we could try... try to make it change." I leaned my forehead against his.

John kissed me without pretense or hesitation, for once. I tried to resist, to make him pay a little for what he'd done, but I couldn't. I'd never been able to, and while that was what had gotten me into this situation, right then it didn't seem too bad.

(Pietro)

"You're gonna be la-ate," I singsonged at my sister as she applied her eyeliner. 

"I don't ca-are," she replied in kind.

"Late late late!" I chanted, doing a little dance around her.

Wanda removed the hand that was holding down her eyelid and blasted me into the wall with it. "So the whole twin bonding thing..."

"Was a onetime job, yeah," Wanda agreed.

"Aw, I knew it couldn't last..."

"Scat," said Wanda, flicking her fingers at me.

"You're going to be _late_," I insisted.

Wanda paused, glanced at me, and then threw her eyeliner at me. Hit me right in the forehead, too. I picked it up and grinned. "Thanks! I can use this."

"Pietro, if you use my eyeliner, I swear to God I'll-"

But I was gone, smirking.

(Wanda)

I looked around the park and caught the sound of an Australian voice patiently explaining something. "It's like _this_, Piotr," it said, and I could easily picture John correcting his friend. "Now it should balance."

"I just know the quote," was Piotr's quiet reply, "not the theory."

I turned to the sound, seeing John bent over a little model. Piotr was squinting down at it, looking slightly confused.

I squatted next to John, smiling at the smile that burst over his face when the machine did balance. "It's a long story," he said, apparently to me. He looked over at Piotr. "Get it now?"

"...No, not really."

"Figures," John sighed. "Oh, well." He turned to me. "Hey."

"Hey yourself," I replied, resting my arm on his shoulder.

Piotr frowned down at the model. "I still don't get how this is supposed to help me draw it."

John facepalmed.

Behind the Russian, a girl clad in pink crept across the ground. She pressed a finger to her lips when she saw my gaze. When she got within two feet of him, Piotr smiled. "Hello, Kitty."

"Dammit!" she said. She jumped him, throwing her arms around his neck. Piotr twined his fingers with hers. "I'll never be able to sneak up on him, will I?"

"Nope," said John. "He's like a ghost himself."

"Ah, well," Kitty sighed. "I never had very high expectations anyway."

John rested his head on my arm, a thoughtful little smile on his face. His eyes flicked to me. "Kinda sums us up, huh?" he murmured, too quietly for Kitty and Piotr to hear.

"I guess," I replied. "But I think that's ok."

John nodded and I smiled.

(Yeah... if that sucks it's because I wasn't really sure what I was going to do... but I think it turned out rather well. Thank you for reading, and thank you more if you take the time to review. Oh, by the way, has anyone noticed that all the disclaimers have been Foo Fighters lyrics? Heheh.)


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